Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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