you traded sex for a burrito?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
