I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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