wakey wakey hands off snakey
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
