New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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