how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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