This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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