i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
