i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
