So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
