so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
