new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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