did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
