I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
