Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
