Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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