the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
