at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
