i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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