I skipped work to stalk him.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
