Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am one with the molecules
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
