i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
