He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
