i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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