Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
