my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
