The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
