i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
