I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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