Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
