I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
