dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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