Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
