He told me they were just razor bumps!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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