absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
