Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
