You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
only if we run a train.
done.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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