She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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