how can u be prego again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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