Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
