We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
