Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
