if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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