Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
