found the other keg... it's in the tree
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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