Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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