I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we're making bets on your personal life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
