thus making me awesome and them whores
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
