she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
