I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
