The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
