used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
