and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
